Australia captain Tim Paine has told talkSPORT he has no regrets about pooing his pants during last year’s Ashes, and insists he’d ‘do it all again’ if it meant the tourists took the urn back home.
On Monday, England cricket legend Freddie Flintoff was stunned by the admission from Paine that he soiled himself towards the end of the fourth Test, while still on the field, at Old Trafford.
Flintoff said it was ‘absolutely disgusting’, ‘unacceptable behaviour’ and wondered ‘how did he get away with that in cricket whites?’
Come on, we were all thinking it.
And so, in the interests of balance, the talkSPORT Breakfast invited the Aussie captain onto the show to have his say on Tuesday morning, and explain why he’s such a disgusting animal.
And his excuse?
He said Australia coach Justin Langer would have ‘punched me in the face’ if he nipped to the loo at such a crucial time in the all-important Test.
With light running out and the tourists trailing, the Aussies feared the umpire might call it a day and give England hope of taking a series lead.
Instead, Paine took one for the team by staying on the pitch and doing his business in his pants, with Australia eventually winning the fourth Test by 185 runs to retain the urn for the first time on English soil since 2001.
And he told talkSPORT he’d do it all again.
“I can smell you from here, Tim,” began Freddie with a laugh.
“I’ve got so many things I want to ask you, but lets start with this: You had a poo in your pants at the home of cricket, Old Trafford in Manchester – why, how, what? Tell us Tim!”
The Aussie skipper explained: “Well basically, I don’t know if you remember that Test match… which he won, and retained the Ashes!
“There was as bit of rain around, it was a bit dark, we were about eight or nine [wickets] down, we were behind in our overs and I felt sick.
“I had known from previous experiences that day that it wasn’t going to be all that solid… so I thought I’d just take a punt and it worked out OK!
“We got the result, I had to run off the ground quickly before the interviews and tidied myself up, but, look, to be honest if we got the same result I’d do it all again!”
Freddie asked: “You were captain, so were the rest of the team in on what had just happened?”
Paine added: “I told them, ‘I’m going to have to go off, I’m feeling sick’, but we were down on overs, it was dark and I thought the umpires were going to call it off, so I thought I’m just going to have to try and hold on.
“It was sort of in the squatting motion [he’s a wicket keeper, remember] that everything kind of overwhelmed me.
“Only Davie [Warner] and I, well, I wouldn’t say saw it, probably heard it, and luckily there wasn’t an edge in the next two or three balls because we were in tears.
“So yeah, it’s fair to say it got a little bit messy out there.
“I’d been going off every drinks break, which is every hour in cricket, but I could not have just run off the ground with those nine down and being behind in overs.
“If I ran into the dressing room and our coach Justin Langer asked me, ‘what are you off for mate?’, and I said, ‘I’m just going to go to the toilet’, he would have punched me in the face I reckon!”
Listen to a clip of Tim Paine on the talkSPORT Breakfast above